7 August 2010

The U.P. LBD: $150

I'm back in the US of A, and my temporary drought of inspirational shit that I want to buy but am not has been remedied, and in spades. Our country may lack in some areas - culture, charisma, production of svelte children - but temptation-peddling is not one of them. Not a day has passed without some mental battle being waged between my inner consumer and my not-yet-concretely-employed guilt center. Daily, I'm fairly certain that everything would be okay if I just caved in a bought some beer, a hybrid car, a $7 loaf of artisanal whole grain bread, and some spunky new clothes. Which brings us to the UP LBD. There's this brilliant project, where a lovely woman wore the same style of dress  (I think she had 7 identical ones) every day for a year, only changing the accessories and other clothing pieces she jazzed it up with. The over-arching idea being to deliver a swift kick in the nuts to disposable, non-sustainable fashion, and to raise a bunch of money for kids to go to school in India. Great, right? I adore this idea, partly because of the sustainability bit, but mainly because the fashion-impaired part of me really, really likes the idea of having a very defined framework to buy clothes and dress within. I tend to be much more creative when I've got some constraints. Also, the vast majority of my current wardrobe is really sad and ratty-looking, and if I'm going to be teaching come September (some serious wood-knocking, here), I'm going to need some wardrobe CPR. See how nice that all works out? Nose-thumbing to the fashion industry, a hip new look, presentable for the children? But the catch: The UP LBD (The Uniform Project Little Black Dress, as best as I can figure) will set me back one hundred and fifty bones, and I'm fairly sure that my hoo-hah shan't be covered by it's microscopic design. 

Curses! Off to find a seamstress. Or dust off my sewing machine and learn how to make a buttonhole.

21 April 2010

Geek Desk: $799

While dorking around reading the New York Times online before they ruin everything and start charging me to look at their website, I read an article about how sitting on one's ass all day long whilst working greatens the possibility that one's ass shall grow large. And also make one unhealthy. I am very excited that scientists are devoting their time to confirm my personal ass' findings, that indeed, as I've sat, planning classes, making grade-tracking spreadsheets, designing class materials, cute certificates of completion and doing other sit-down administrative activities,  that my ass has grown larger. 

So then, imagine my ass' glee when a week later, the very same New York Times features an article about a new generation of desks that you can raise or lower as the day goes on. Start standing, keep your booty svelte, and flick a switch to lower it later when you'd like to sit. I'm  really, non-facetiously, excited about this idea. Granted, I would never in a billion years drop eight hundred dollars on a desk, but I'm pretty sure that I could put those electronics and fabricating for motion classes I took back in the day, and and make one my damn self. Win!

7 April 2010

Basketbin: $48

I'm a composting failure. We have a pile, but it's usually raided by the dogs, and the container that I collect scraps in before taking them out to to the dog-offering pile tends to get left to ferment and go squishy and slimy. It lurks under the sink, threatening all with the vile smells that might escape should someone think of emptying it. 

This is the miracle garbage can that could save me. See the little container that hangs inside? With a top an everything? It's dishwasher safe, and easy to remove for taking a scenic stroll to the compost pile, where your well-behaved dogs gaze upon you encouragingly with expressions showing that they would never dream of dragging your scraps all over the yard for their leisurely consumption. Right before they magically poop out the fifty dollars the miracle garbage can costs.

18 March 2010

Evil Eye Key Chain: $8.95

 

Since watching Zorba the Greek the other night I've been in a Greek-y kind of mood. I made the sadly Mexican-ized version of my favorite Orzo with Feta, Tomato and Spinach Salad today (subbing in small pasta shells for orzo, cotija for feta, and some sort of weird yellow orange citrus thing for lemon zest, but it was close enough). I think an evil eye accessory of some sort would top off the mood well. Tu-su!

17 March 2010

Adjustable Handlebar Mustache Ring: $8

In honor of the renewal of spring and Saint Patrick's Day and whatever other cause you'd like to throw in there, I'm coming clean and revising my concept. Because really now, projects born from New Year's resolutions are about productivity and creation and self-improvement, and not so much about feeling like a gigantic failure for being two and a half weeks behind in the drawing department. Because, I've got to admit, things happen. Visitors come to town, long weekends are spent at the beach, English schools need tending to. And I would like to stop beating myself up for periodically having a life, and just enjoy my moments as they come. Also, it feels a little off-kilter with the intent of the project to be racking my brain and searching the interwebs for something I could want, and then come to terms with wanting it in my post-consumerist way. What the hell am I saying? I'm still drawing shit I want that I'm not buying, just maybe not every single day. Tah dah! 

Oh, and get a load of that ring, huh? If you can't grow an ironic handlebar mustache of your own, now your ring finger can. What can't humanity do?

20 February 2010

Stripey Socks: 12 pounds (for real?)

I like stripey socks. I would like some new ones. I'll probably indulge and buy myself some cheap-o ones while in the north, but definitely no fancy-pancy 12 pound British ones like I drew here.

19 February 2010

Cute Jacket: $37.95

I have a feeling that I never look completely put-together, try as I may (or may not, most of the time). It may be due in part to the percentage of my wardrobe that is made up of t-shirt and sneakers, but I think that a cute little jacket like this on top of a t-shirt, with some jeans and sneakers, would maybe work? Somebody nominate me for What Not To Wear, already, and help a girl out. 

18 February 2010

Pedicure: $25

I'm not much of a girly girl, but man, I love me a good pedicure. It occurs to me that I actually probably wouldn't know a really good pedicure if it walked up to me and asked me out to dinner, as I've been partial to the slightly ghetto-fabulous pedicures given at Chicago Nails, featuring nice Vietnamese ladies that I imagine are chattering to each other about the embarrassing hairiness of my toes while wielding those razor thingies that shave off callouses and leave your feet oh-so-soft but I think are technically illegal now. Something about hepatitis. Anyhoo, I've found nothing quite as glorious to do after a particularly harrowing shift waiting tables on the Mag Mile, than to get a Chicago Nails pedicure, then walk carefully over to Pippen's for a pint or two of Newcastle in dive bar heaven.

17 February 2010

 

Veggie Bacon: $5

Vegetarians fall into two camps re: meat substitutes, and when I was one, I fell distinctly into the group of those who happily made fake bologna sandwiches, although I drew the line at putting soy cheese on them. And now, as a reluctant omnivore, I still crave the crispy, salty, non-pork goodness of the Morningstar Farm Bacon-esque Strips.

16 February 2010

Spicy Tuna Roll: $5

I'm on an Asian food craving kick, apparently. There is a lot of sushi here, but unfortunately it's not so hot, and tends to be overpriced. Luis bought a "Sushi For Dummies" book a while back, so we make it for ourselves more often than we eat it out. However, the only fish we've ever used was some white fish, bought in the typical Mexican-small-town fashion, from Luis' cousin with a fish farm. It was fresh, but it wasn't no spicy tuna.

15 February 2010

 

Red Bean Mochi: $7

One of the things I really, really miss about my apartment in Logan Square was that is was a short bike ride up Kimball to the magical Asian food mart, Chicago Foods.  I got turned on to lots of foods that I have no idea what they're called, due to the fact that like 80% of the signage was in a language that wasn't English. They had the cheapest tofu in town, the best heat n' eat udon soup mixes, and a whole freezer case full of dumplings and potstickers, and these magical treats, mochi. They're rice dough wrapped around sweet red bean paste, and although I'd best describe their texture as maybe what biting into a zombie might feel like, they're fantastically delicious. And I can't seem to find anything remotely like them in Mexico.

14 February 2010

Monster Farting Love Facebook "gift": $2

So it was my friend Shoshanna's birthday, and I was writing her a long-distance facebook birthday message, because despite the fact that we've celebrated a decade of birthdays at a grand combined bash over the years, we haven't managed to be in same country for our birthdays in the last 4. When I saw that facebook was offering this beauty as an add-on to my birthday wishes, I thought nothing would better express my loving and frustrated sentiments about us celebrating our birthdays in separate locales yet again. And then facebook wanted me to give them actual money to send a virtual gift. And I told facebook to shove it. 

Happy birthdays to us, Shosh!

13 February 2010

Box of Cinnamon Life: $5

 

Man, oh, man, I am behind in my drawings. Partially due to some action-packed weekends, having my birthday, having smog throat (tm), and being on the verge of starting a new quarter at school. Excuses - BAH. I'm pretty sure a groovy, 70s-style box (just like my ancient self remembers them) of Cinnamon Life could help me power through all my troubles.

11 February 2010

Cadbury Creme Egg: 89 cents each

Today while eating a piece of Dove Revitalize, some sort of dark, miracle vitamin-laden chocolate (god bless the Mexican dollar store and the dark-chocolate treasures hidden within), I received the fortune "Enjoy the small things in life that bring you joy". For me, Cadbury Creme Eggs are those small things, and I believe that the passing of Mardi Gras brings open season on joy. Sadly, I'm on the wrong side of the Rio Grande to get in on the happiness. Geography can't stop the fact, though, that I have the best grandma in the universe, who always buys me a few boxes and socks them away in her freezer until the next time she sees me.

10 February 2010

Banjo: $150

I've always loved the sound of the banjo, probably from listening to my Muppet Movie record too many times as a kid. The Rainbow Connection still makes me tear up more often than not. Anyhoo, I'd love to get me a banjo, take some classes, and go on a world busking banjo tour.

9 February 2010

Pee-Wee Abstinence Ring: $20

It's possible that one might need to be, well, abstinent to think about wearing an abstinence ring, but I think I'm pure enough in heart for Pee-Wee to approve. And the fact that it's pewter with Swarovski Crystals (whatever those may be)? Just icing on the cake, baby.

8 February 2010

Weird Little Rubbery Chicken: $10 pesos

One of the glories of Mexico is that anything you'll possibly need, or could never even conceive of a notion of needing, will find it's way to you with little or no effort on your part. You can sit in your house, and a guy carrying two 12-foot ladders will walk past. "Hey, buddy, need a ladder?" Or sit in your car at a light in Guadalajara, and you'll have the option of getting your windows washed, recharging the balance on your cell phone, buying communion wafer scraps for snacking, a bottle of water to wash them down, and maybe getting your hands on a mini-punching bag and gloves to get your 3 year-old off to a good start. Among other possibilities. 

So it didn't surprise me even a little when, while sitting on the beach, a guy walks us to us with a rack of these totally bizarre little jiggly rubber chickens for sale. Not your typical rubber chicken, but his much smaller and squishier cousin. I'm thinking, "Of course! The only thing lacking from my current beach experience is some tiny poultry!" Except for, of course, my wallet, which was in the car.

7 February 2010

 

Bike Gear Clock: $39

We have a bit of a curse of the clocks right now; out of the 5 clocks we've got at the school, we can only manage to keep two of them keeping something approximating the correct time, vigilant battery recharging and changing be damned. Add to that the still lucky kitty clock at the house, plus 4 or 5 of Luis' watches with kaput batteries, and we've got a downright epidemic. I'm thinking maybe the whole buying-clocks-from-the-dollar-store- (well, the 12 peso store) strategy might need to be rethunk.  This clock would sure be a nice start.

6 February 2010

Soy Milk Creamer: $2.50

I miss normal soy milk. Mexican soy milk is all bizarre and fruit flavored and doesn't quite do it for me. 

Non-Purchase Victories!

It was not my intention at all, but this blog has helped me rack up some victories in wanting stuff, not buying it, and getting it anyway. Miraculous! I just got a big fatty birthday package from my Dad and his wife, brimming with monkey slippers (3 pairs! 2 models! Holy lifetime supply of monkey-laden feet, Batman!), tea, and natural peanut butter. And I've been promised the use of A People's History (RIP Mr. Zinn) the next time I'm in Chicago. So look at all that stuff that I can enjoy yet I didn't have to buy! The power of positive drawing?

Update- More tea! From Everman, the source of my love of Genmaicha. Thanks, Everman! 

5 February 2010

Cool Book: $16.50 (on sale at Amazon even!)

Run around the world taking pictures and writing about ingenious examples of recycled crafts? And then sell it as a slick-looking book? Why have I not done this already? Ah well, I'll just want the book.

4 February 2010

Creepily Named Yet Incredibly Effective Hand Cream: $5

I first found this stuff while I was bartending, and other than skeeving out my managers, it did a damn fine job of keeping my angry and constantly submerged hands relatively soft and happy. I don't know if that testifies to its work with udders, but you all can check that out for yourselves.

3 February 2010

 

Bubble Tea: $4

Given the opportunity, I might just trade my pinky toe for a bubble tea right now.

2 February 2010

 

Bottle of Decent Gin: $26

Once, while attempting to feign classiness in a Vegas club during a bachelorette weekend (for reals) I ordered a Sapphire and tonic, and it set me back eleven dollars.  I've been a little gun-shy around it since then, but it sure would be a nice alternative to the only gin in Z-town, El Oso Negro. 

1 February 2010

 

Spiral Shell Ring: $30

This is a ring that I've seen, contemplated, and ultimately passed up at many a craft fair. Now I'm nostalgic for the days of even thinking about dropping thirty bones on one ring.

31 January 2010

 

Space Heater: $90

I think I did a quick and dirty job on this here drawing because my subconscious just won't let me spend time and care on a space heater in - god help us - Mexico. There's a cyclone in town, which means rain for a few days, which I actually dig, on account of the fact we're not due for any for another six months or so, but also means that there's no sun to warm us up, and leads me to sleep in long underwear with four blankets on the bed. Unacceptable.

30 January 2010

 3-D Movie Viewing Experience: $5

The vast majority of movies here are shown in the theater in English, with Spanish subtitles, with two main exceptions: cartoons and gigantic blockbusters. The idea being that we shouldn't be holding the children or the unwashed masses to read for 2 hours. Which I get. Even then, with the blockbusters, you can usually find a special showing in English, just not on the most gigantic screen in the theater. So everybody wins, right? Here's the quandary: movies that have 3D showings. Can you even work subtitles in 3D? Or would that just freak everybody's shit out too much? I think the folks in the anti-dubbed-movies camp might just be hosed. And I'll remain the last person in the universe who hasn't seen Avatar. I think I'll be okay.

29 January 2010

 

Headphones: $50

Sometimes, while trying to concentrate at an English school while some particularly rambunctious kids classes are being taught, headphones are necessary. And sometimes, when you have tiny ears like I do, you can only work the earbuds for so long before you start to feel phantom earbuds in your tiny ears all day long. So I think a big fatty gangsta pair would be ideal.

28 January 2010

 

Lucky Kitty: $1 - $200

I've always been intrigued by Lucky Kitty. He graces my wall in a no-longer-functioning clock form, and I used to have a wee gold version of him blocking the check engine light my old car. I had a bobble-headed version of him from Hawaii, too, but he jumped off the bookshelf a few months back. I'm not sure how that effects my overall luck, but would really like a new one just to be on the safe side.

27 January 2010

Natural Crunchy Peanut Butter: $4.50

This is another product that falls into the "Not Buying Because It Costs Too Much To Fly It Down To Mexico" category. Mexicans: not so big on the peanut butter. The first time Luis ate a PBJ that I made for him, he was all "Eh. I'd maybe eat that for dessert." Which is to say that the peanut butter selection down by us leaves a bit to be desired. Especially if you're not into Skippy creamy. But I take what I can get here (hey, a girl has got to make spicy peanut sauce with something), and think wistful thoughts about mixing the oil and nut strata together with a big knife.

26 January 2010

Volleyball: $25

I had an old and slightly crusty volleyball that I dutifully took with me to my rec league matches in Chicago, but it didn't manage to make the move with me down here. And for being a smallish rural Mexican town, Zacoalco has a fair amount of pretty good pick-up volleyball. With old and slightly crusty volleyballs. I think a new one would be a big hit.